Sunday, April 28, 2013
I can't really say that I had all that strong of a reaction to any of my classmate's fears. Though there was one though one that did create something of an internal conflict in me. I don't remember his name (I'm terrible with names) and I can't find it in the blogs, but he wrote some secret that was important to him on a slip of paper, folded it up, left the room and had us pass it around with instructions not to open it. If I remember it correctly it was a fear of trust. Now for me that is not an issue what is, is that I have 2 things that this causes to conflict in me, 1: I have a terrible thirst for knowledge at almost any cost; and 2: I am EXTREMELY loyal; and even though I don't know him that well I still have a desire to be loyal to his wish not to open it. It took a great deal of will power to resist opening it and I passed it on as quickly as possible so I could not dwell on whether or not to open it. I knew that not know what it was would almost drive me insane later but that really doesn't matter, I was through with the conflict. Then after he came back Beth had it passed a round again, by this point the desire to know had doubled and it was much harder to not open it, I still managed to pass it by there was a voice in my head screaming to open it and yelling at for not doing so, and even though I was able to keep myself from thinking about it, not know still gnawed at the edges of my mind for a day or two.